A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of A Grief Observed
Book Review: "Reality, looked at steadily, is unbearable."
Summary: 5 Stars
I read on Wikipedia that Lewis had originally released this book under a pseudonym, N.W. Clerk. But, as it happened, so many of his friends recommended it to him as a way to deal with his own grief that he finally decided to publish it under his own name. I do not know if that was actually true, but it makes a great story. He wrote this book after his wife, Joy, died of cancer.
A Grief Observed is one of those books that get recommended in the aftermath of a death. In my case, I think of the books about loss as being divided into two categories: the dead baby books and the "oh god why" books. This is an "oh god why" book.
My flippancy does not do Lewis any real justice. It is recommended for many good reasons. I am sure that there will be a day when I find myself handing a copy to someone I love who is trying to make sense of what they are going through. But I still find myself wanting to be flippant in this review. It is a difficult book to read, and nearly as difficult to talk about in a public forum like this one. I had made the mistake of reading it during a long train ride-- wiping the tears away with the collar of my winter coat.
I would not call it a comfort to read, exactly. I guess that my own grief is still too raw. But he gets it right. He gets the physical arc of grief. He gets the ways in which it changes over time. He gets the way in which loss like this changes and illuminates the nature of the personal relationship that you have with the divine.
What I like most is that Lewis does not pull his punches. He does not find himself falling back on the kind of false homilies with which so many treat the death of a loved one. He is not easy on himself, nor is he easy on God. I recognize the bitter anger in so many of these pages. I also recognize the hopeless love for the dead-- the realization that you are lifting your hands to nothing except imagination and the unknown.
Book Review: A Book of Great Beauty and Intelligence
Summary: 5 Stars
Although Lewis was, of course, a renowned and devout Christian, this book will speak to anyone who's lost someone with whom they shared real love. All of the questions, angers, and doubts that fill the mind during the numbing time following great loss are shared in the first person, generously, by Lewis. This is, I think, a beautiful, powerful, and deeply healing work.Book Review: A Grief Analyzed
Summary: 5 Stars
Originally published under a pseudonym, this short book is a thoroughly reasoned but heart-felt analyzation of grief from the private writing journal of intellectual author and academia giant, C.S. Lewis. The object of his grief is the love of his life, his rare intellectual equal and friend whom he met later in life and fell deeply in love with, making her his wife.
Born Atheist, C.S. Lewis became a committed Christian, but spent part of his journalized pages in honest reflection of his anger at God and acknowledgement of fragile faith while in the throes of traumatic, life-altering grief. He boldly wonders and writes the thoughts and words most familiarly held at some point in the minds of others bereaved over their most beloved and cherished.
From page 23: "Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. Apparently the faith - I thought it faith - which enables me to pray for the other dead has seemed strong only because I have never really cared, not desperately, whether they existed or not. Yet I thought I did."
After other thoughts about risks and beliefs, this is said, "And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high, until you find that you are playing not for counters or for sixpences but for every penny you have in the world. Nothing will shake a man - or at any rate a man like me - out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover himself."
On page 25, C.S. sees the human side of grieving when others try to console him with spiritual avenues of comfort: "Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand."
The social leprosy of bereavement is also mentioned on a couple of pages, including this: "Perhaps the bereaved ought to be isolated in special settlements like lepers."
At the end, C.S. Lewis seems to reconcile himself to a conclusion about grieving: "For, as I have discovered, passionate grief does not link us with the dead but cuts us off from them," as he tries to go about cherishing his beloved's every memory with gladness, a smile and a laugh. Not for long, however, is this a workable plan as he writes the next day's journal entry more in line with the natural phases of grief: "An admirable programme. Unfortunately it can't be carried out. tonight al the hells of young grief have opened again; the mad words, the bitter resentment, the fluttering in the stomach, the nightmare unreality, the wallowed-in tears. For in grief nothing `stays put.' One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?"
As do we all of bereavement ask ourselves when finding that as much as we try clawing our way up the spiral, we suddenly lose our grasp, totally at the mercy of our humanness and that quality that never dies - love.
Book Review: A Grief Observed
Summary: 5 Stars
A Grief ObservedOne of Lewis' trademark talents is that of brevity - his theological musings as well as his fictional allegories are always succinct. "A Grief Observed" is no exception at a mere 60 or so pages. There have been countless books written on the subject of death, and one might been of the opinion that everything that needs to be said has been said already, even before Lewis wrote this particular book. Yet few are indeed so equally human and contain such divine insight as this. Since his own admittedly reluctant conversion to Christianity, Lewis' faith was, in the eyes of his adoring fans and indeed to himself in many respects, tantamount to the Rock of Gibraltar. One could even accuse Lewis of naïve arrogance at times, as though he had God "sussed out". Yet at the death of his wife (though that word today is too empty to describe her relationship to him) Lewis' world came crashing down around him - his "deck of cards" faith, as he puts it, had been destroyed. It would be very easy for his detractors to say that his faith was false all along and that the volumes of Christian apologetics he wrote were authored on the basis of guesswork instead of divine knowledge. It is doubtful that Lewis would argue with these points - they are hinted at by Lewis both in his lowest and highest moments in the book. And yet that is not quite the whole truth of the situation. This is made clear over the course of "A Grief Observed". Lewis emerges from his tragedy with his faith not only intact but also wholly reborn. Rather than the stereotypical Christian view that so many non-Christians and Christians take, the "family reunion in Heaven" (which he rejects are pure fantasy), Lewis accepts (much to his anguish) that God is God, that death is death, and that his wife is indeed in a state of eternal bliss. This reviewer will not spoil how Lewis came to these conclusions, but will say that for those who may doubt the sincerity of his claims there is indeed a "Ring of Truth" to be heard in his findings. This is a book about one man's struggle to come to terms with the reality of death and what it means for us all. It is heartbreaking and yet imparts a sense of supreme joy that is to be found. Highly recommended reading for anyone.
Book Review: A Grief Observed
Summary: 3 Stars
Excellent character study, but it is poorly written. Understanding the author is difficult but well worth the effort