Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Break Free from the Perfection Deception by Alice Domar, Alice Lesch Kelly Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Break Free from the Perfection Deception
Book Review: Excellent book that really speaks to perfectionist women
Summary: 4 Stars
I picked up this book after 6 months of seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I felt as if I was making significant progress through medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. However, I found there were certain feelings of perfectionism I was still struggling to shake. After initially picking up the book I passed on buying it because my feeling was there was little I could learn from a book that therapy hadn't taught me. However, after seeing the title again at another bookstore something told me it was worth buying. As I am sure you can tell by the 4 stars I gave it, I am very glad I picked it up.
The most valuable part of this book for me was to be able to read the stories of others. There were so many stories in this book that felt like they were written about me and knowing that these women were able to overcome their perfectionism and go on to lead healthy lives gave me hope. It was also helpful because I think sometimes you can more easily see the flaws in someone else's ways so reading the stories of others was a great way to dissect my own behaviors in a non-threatening way. As a geek I also enjoyed the history of perfectionism as I love whenever a behavior or trend can be put into context.
I also really appreciated the exercises and techniques described in the book. They reinforced a lot of what I had been practicing in therapy for great continuity. Combined with the stories this book really guided my thinking about my tendencies and helped me make great efforts to adapt them. I've even brought the book in to my sessions with my therapist to help guide our conversations.
My only complaint about this book and the only reason why I give it 4 stars and not 5 is that in many parts of the book it felt like it was not speaking to all women, but in fact married women with kids. There was so much I found helpful in this book that I did my best to overlook it, but as a young, single woman it was sometimes off putting.
I highly recommend this book for women who are dealing with perfectionism whether you have already seen a professional or not.
Book Review: Perfectly imperfect
Summary: 5 Stars
Perfect reading for perfectionists! If you frequently feel that your body/home/job/relationships/parenting/fill-in-the-blank are not good enough, this book is likely to provide some welcome relief. Based on cognitive behavioral therapy, Be Happy Without Being Perfect provides ways to identify and restructure the cognitive distortions that often lie at the root of perfectionism. The book's easy-to-read and easy-to-apply information, advice, and techniques help pave the road to escape from the "perfection deception" and arrive at a life that can be perfectly imperfect. Book Review: Not just for perfectionists!
Summary: 5 Stars
I don't consider myself a perfectionist, and wouldn't generally look at a book meant for that audience. But I have to say that I found myself over and over in this book (particularly in the parenting section!) This book is useful to anyone who works hard to get things right, and still questions whether or not s/he has done enough or his/her best. It's for the person who worries at night over small mistakes or minor slights; it's for the person who will say an automatic yes to someone else's request when a no would be just fine. Don't think you have to be a 'perfect or nothing' obsessive to benefit from the book. Read it and learn how to be nicer to yourself in a reasonable, unselfish way. Book Review: Simple and useless
Summary: 1 Stars
This book is so simple and will teach you nothing. It is very basic and will tell you nothing that you haven't thought of already. "Just say stop", when you start thinking things. Oh, never thought of that one! Save you money and buy something that will really help you. Book Review: The Imperfect Review on the Near Perfect Book
Summary: 5 Stars
In a world of quick read self-help books all too often serving up platitudes, it is a pleasure to read a thoughtful, constructive, guide book on such an important subject. Author Alice Domar does a wonderful job of weaving short snippets about her patients (anonymity protected of course), candid confessions about her own struggles with perfectionism, and compassionate guidance as to self help remedies. An occasional dash of humor makes for a most enjoyable read. (My wife and I howled at the story of Martha Stewart's "perfect" Thanksgiving.)
Couple of caveats for potential readers. This book was written for woman, a point not clear on the book's jacket front (what with the one highlighted reviewer being a male stating "Dr. Domar teaches `us' how..."). I believe the author's major points are largely applicable to men, albeit in a different enough context that males will likely not find this as effective a book. And, this book is much more about "perfectionism" than being happy. Perfectionism obviously is a barrier to happiness, but certainly not anything close to the end all of happiness. There has been a raft of excellent books of late on the overall subject of happiness (e.g., Marci Shimoff's Happy for No Reason) that would be a good companion read for reformed perfectionists looking to progress further on the road to deep happiness.
Notwithstanding those two caveats, I thought this was an important book, well written, and fully deserving of five stars.
Now, if only I had written a perfect review...
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