Getting Past No
by William Ury
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Book Summary Information
Author: William UryEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published); Unknown (Translation)
Published: 1993-01-01
ISBN: 0553371312
Number of pages: 208
Publisher: Bantam
Product features:
- ISBN13: 9780553371314
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Book Reviews of Getting Past No
Book Review: 1st Read Getting To Yes; Then if Stumped, Try This
Summary: 3 Stars
This is the next book to read after you've practiced the basic steps of Getting to Yes, for when the other person keeps saying "no." It helped me deal with really fuming, intransigent or deceitful behaviors of others, with specific techniques to:
* Defuse anger, hostility or defensiveness
* Control my own responses during hot moments
* Find out what people really want
* Deepen inquiry into assumptions
The five steps here go even further than the first book:
1) Don't react: Go to the balcony (name the game; buy time to think; etc.)
2) Disarm them: Step to their side (paraphrase feelings too; agree without conceding; say "Yes, and")
3) Change the game: Don't reject; reframe (ask "What makes that fair?"; reinterpret, deflect or expose; negotiate the rules of the game; etc.)
4) Make it easy for them to say yes: Build them a golden bridge (involve the other; help them save face; go slow to go fast; etc.)
5) Make it hard to say no: Bring them to their senses, not their knees (use power to educate; use the minimum power necessary; let them choose; etc.)
It's really funny to me to reread these ideas, as I forget them all the time. For ex.: I constantly say "But," because it seems to get attention. But instead saying "Yes, and" would create so much less unneeded friction. I'd grade this a B+.
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