Getting to 'I Do' by Pat Allen, Sandra Harmon Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of Getting to 'I Do'
Book Review: Terrible
Summary: 1 Stars
Don't waste your time any further. Save yourself time, money, and mental energy by looking elsewhere for self-help.
PLEASE, do not buy this book.
Book Review: The Bible of Our Marriage
Summary: 5 Stars
Dr. Pat's book clearly and persuasively presents how to find and manage a relationship. She divides the halves of a relationship into two main patterns: "masculine energy" (wanting to be respected, listened to, followed) or feminine energy (wanting your feelings cherished, willing to listen and follow the masculine energy partner's lead). (The usual break-down is masculine energy men: the active pursuer; and feminine energy women: the receptive target, but Pat also advises the reverse on how to find and create their own balanced relationship.) Pat helps you to determine which one you are, and then how to attract and not drive away your complement energy.
Too many women act out their masculine energy in the work place all day, and forget to return to their half of the balance when they come home. No (straight) masculine energy man wants to have a competitor, a masculine-energy person (in effect, another man), for his partner. He is looking for a relationship with a receptive and loving feminine-energy woman. Because the workplace drives women to ignore or suppress their feelings, they need to re-ground themselves in feminine energy, to be feelings-centered rather than rational, logical, and directive, to find a solid relationship.
By staying grounded in your preferred energy polarity (to an extant Pat suggests you will actively negotiate once you have achieved a joint commitment to monogamy, exclusivity and longevity) you DONâ??T end up with two of the same â?~ends of the magnetâ?? pushing each other away!
Her book is just marvellous and TOTALLY useful! I periodically re-read it for "innoculations" in retaining my focus, and not shifting randomly or unexpectedly between feminine energy and masculine energy (and yes, I got married about 10 months after finding her book!)
Book Review: The Truth about Relationships Leading to Marriage
Summary: 5 Stars
This book is phenomenal. I attempted to read it about 5 years ago and became angry with the book, put it down and never thought of it again. I am now 29 and ready for a committed, leading-to-marriage relationship. So, I decided to give it another try. Thank goodness I did! I couldn't put the book down! I read it in 2 days & feel like I have never had such clarity concerning male-female energy relationships. As I read it, I found that often I sabotage my own relationships by not being true to myself. This book shows me how to 1) figure out WHO I AM AND LOVE MYSELF 2) how to demonstrate my true energy in a relationship 3) when to decide to have sex & why it's so incredibly important to do EXACTLY AS THIS BOOK RECOMMENDS!
I recommend this book to every strong, over achieving, female energy that strives for EQUALITY. Why? Because it will shake up your definition of equality & force you to look at yourself & your current actions/beliefs!
I also recommend this for those of you who are tired of sticking it out in those relationships with the guy who "will come around" to marrying you. Maybe, after reading this, you (like me) will figure out that you haven't been with the man who really fits you at all. NOW'S THE TIME TO DISCOVER HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF & THEN FIND THE MAN WHO WILL LOVE YOU THAT WAY TOO!!! Read this book...and keep an open mind because what you read is nothing like what you've heard about equality!
Try to give it a fair full read even if it makes you angry. Anything that makes you angry is hitting something passionate inside of you and could change you forever! =)
Book Review: The androgyny=narcissism thing is BS
Summary: 1 Stars
I agree with the main point of this book:figure out what your energy style is, and find someone else who is complementary.
I disagree with the business about the androgynous folk among us being 'narcissist'. I don't even know where the author gets this. In my studies in psychology, a larger number of professionals found that the happiest relationships were where both members were 'androgynous', or where both members had more 'feminine' energy, and that the unhappiest set-ups were the ones heavily bound in 'role' behavior.
Another problem about any books of this sort (such as 'The Rules') is that they're based on sets of cultural biases that may not apply to all Americans.
Finally, about androgyny, I'm an 'androgyne' and have had very happy experiences - with my fellow androgynes.
And I'm looking for an androgyne again.
Book Review: The relationship Commandments
Summary: 5 Stars
I have read this book three times and given copies to several friends. The precepts are biblical - even though it is a secular message. It has changed the way I do relationship and made all the difference!