Ghosts/Aliens by Trey Hamburger Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of Ghosts/Aliens
Book Review: Contacted Satan and burnt my eyebrows off
Summary: 5 Stars
"One time my friend accidentally contacted Satan and burnt his eyebrows off." This book is making me laugh, hard. Robert Hamburger's (of "Real Ultimate Power" fame) older cousin investigates a mysterious paranormal conspiracy that starts with a Hot Pocket that moved... on it's own. If you're familiar with the "Jim Anchower" columnist from "The Onion," imagine that type of narrator in a would-be "X-Files" novel. There are lines like, "I once lived in a duplex that had to be blessed," and "Parker brothers need to change their recommended age for Ouija Boards to 30 years and up. Seriously." It's completely idiotic and immature, like "Real Ultimate Power". And this is a good thing in this case, because the book is freakin' funny. It lacks something in the way of cohesion, but that actually works to the advantage of the author.
I cannot recommend this highly enough, four times yesterday I was laughing to myself sitting alone reading lines like, "In Cambodia, you can throw a grenade at water buffaloes for FIVE BUCKS." If you are interested in gurgling sounds, opening a portal to time/space, or face-punchings, you must read this book.
*Also, after I finished reading this book, I noticed that the lettering on the title glows in the dark. I noticed this when I saw the glowing words "GHOSTS/ALIENS" in the dark, which was frickin hilarious to me.
Book Review: Eerily prophetic.
Summary: 5 Stars
The book's great but I want to post here to tell you my own story of the unknown. I was at the Phillies game today, they lost 6-2 against the Brewers, and left my cell phone at my buddies house who drove me there. When I got back there was a message from my mom to call her. I did. I asked her what was up and she said "Don't worry, the mystery has been solved." When I asked what she was talking about she told me she and my dad had got Chinese food the night before and she put her leftovers in the fridge. When she went to get them today...they were gone. She called me thinking I might have come over their house while they were sleeping and ate the food.(I do have a key to their house and this behavior would not be abnormal for me) She said she looked in the fridge, in the freezer, the cabinets, even the garage and nothing. I was getting impatient because I knew I had nothing to do with this story and my mom was starting to bore me. I asked her "Well where was it?" She said she finally found it in the microwave already covered in saran wrap. What's weird is they just got a new puppy named Ollie who was neutured on Thursday, September 2nd and he has to wear one of those cone like collars so he doesn't lick his wound. I'm thinking those things might funnel psychic energy and maybe was the catalyst for this whole thing.
Anyway the book is good and what I told you is true. The wounded dog cone funnel is just a theory but I just thought it was weird that I start reading this book and something appears in the microwave instead of the counter.
Book Review: Ghosts, Monsters, Meatballs: The Hamburger Paradox
Summary: 4 Stars
Hamburger's slogan -- "ghost existence precedes alien essence" -- serves to introduce what is most distinctive about his research: the idea that no general, non-formal account of what it means to be an alien can be given, because that meaning is decided in and through the existence of ghosts that have yet to be captured and questioned outside of a Bill Murray film. Ghost existence is "self-haunting-in-a-situation." In contrast to other entities, whose essential properties are fixed by the kind of entities they are, what is essential to a ghost -- what makes her who she is -- is not fixed but always becoming, by choices she makes herself. The fundamental contribution of alien thought lies in the idea that one's ability to see and interact with ghosts is constituted neither by nature nor by culture, since to "exist" is precisely to constitute such an identity. It is in light of this idea that key ghost/alien notions such as spookiness, blurriness, alienation, abduction, and "special touch" must be understood. Because ghost existence is co-constituted by blurriness and spookiness, the ghost cannot be conceived as a roly-poly entity but is embodied being-spooky-in-the-world, a self-making in situation, that is the cause of, not the result of, the shared knowledge of the alien collective.
Hamburger's descriptive method moves from the most abstract to the highly concrete. It begins by analyzing two distinct and irreducible categories or kinds of being: the ghost-being and the alien-being, roughly the counterparts of ninjas and pirates, respectively, adding a third, the hovercraft full of eels, later in the book, and concludes with a sketch of the practice of "ghost parcheesi" that interprets the alien motivation to uncover the fundamental project that unifies our world, the martian world, and the unseen world of the spirits. Hamburger makes his argument clearly and convincingly with a delightful prose reminiscent of the simple delights found in the early works of Richard Scarry and Ed Emberly. A thought-provoking and heartbreaking tome. Five stars.
Book Review: Hysterical beginning to end
Summary: 5 Stars
I can't say enough good things about this book. It made me laugh in a way that nothing else has since the episode of the Golden Girls when they had the bowling competition and Rose got way out of line. You don't even need to read the rest of this review (but you can if you feel like it) - just buy the damn book already, lie in your hammock and read.
(Also - VERY IMPORTANT - be prepared to think about the world and everything you know in a different light. I know it's scary but it's also fundamental to your growth as a human being.)
Book Review: THE BEST BOOK OF ALL TIME! (EVEN BETTER THAN THE BIBLE!)
Summary: 5 Stars
This book changed my life forever. Gurgling sounds, animals that know my name, dead grandpas, and floating Hot Pockets have been a constant burden on me and my family for years. Through the teachings of this book, I have transformed myself from ghost/alien-plagued loser, to ghost/alien friggin' bruiser. I found the workout schedule to be especially helpful, along with the little sidenotes from the Ferrari. Trey Hamburger is the best author of all time, with Robert Hamburger following a close second. Buy this book, homies, you won't be disappointed.
More Ghosts/Aliens reviews:
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