Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know
by Lori Hope
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Book Summary Information
Author: Lori HopeEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2005-07
ISBN: 1587612127
Number of pages: 258
Publisher: Celestial Arts
Book Reviews of Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know
Book Review: Much More Than 20 Things...
Summary: 5 Stars
"20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know" is about communicating with people with cancer. Those who are healthy must learn how to take the lead when interacting with those who have or have had cancer. Author Lori Hope knows it is impossible to empathize with cancer patients and survivors when you have not had it yourself. It is her hope that this book will serve as food for thought, providing stories and examples of words and deeds that have helped and also those which have harmed. Topics include "I need to feel hope" to "My moods change day to day; please forgive me if I snap at you."
Author Hope understood cancer with years as a medical reporter, documentary producer, and caregiver. With this background, she came to understand the importance of how to ask questions. She has used this skill in creating "20 Things" with interviews with patients, caregivers, psychotherapists, counselors, social workers, researchers and doctors.
More importantly, the book is laced with her own experience, having been diagnosed and treated for lung cancer. "Though I knew my friends and family wanted to help - and most did - some unwittingly said and did things that did not make me feel better."
This highly readable book is descriptive not prescriptive. The author wanted to avoid prescribing specific words or behaviors as patients react individually, but rather, to open a world of possibilities, giving us pause for thought. "I want to describe what helps and hurts without making friends and loved ones feel guilty about things they may have said or done in the past, and without prescribing exact words or actions for the future."
Besides the "20 Things," the author's afterword is filled with extensive information geared to specific issues: stage of treatment - from diagnosis to after treatment; various cancer types; the workplace; depression: gender and age; end of life issues; and "people of faith."
Other sections at the end include:
* To doctors and health providers
* An additional list of 21 more things to know
* 16 fabulous things people did and said to cancer patients
* 12 outrageous or awful things said to people with cancer
* 26 common phrases or words that sting
* 22 things most people with cancer like and want to hear
While this book was written to help us communicate with those facing cancer, I found this book to be a useful reminder for all communications since it is a guide on how to communicate more clearly, respectfully, and lovingly.
Listen, listen and listen. By watching and listening, one can learn what a person really wants and needs. "That's what the book is about. All want to be cared for and to feel understood and respected."
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