Her Last Death: A Memoir by Susanna Sonnenberg Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of Her Last Death: A Memoir
Book Review: Compelling and Fascinating
Summary: 5 Stars
I found this book to be compelling and fascinating. Compelling because of the strength and seeming veracity of the narrative - and fascinating for its even-handed dissection of the damaging narcissism of the author's mother, which plagues and dominates her childhood. We root for Susana, weep with her and utlimately exult in her fragile, imperfect liberation.Book Review: Warning Spoiler!
Summary: 3 Stars
This does contain spoilers, so if you haven't read it yet and you are definitely going to stop now!
I read this hoping for another Glass Castle. I really did enjoy it, it kept me intrigued almost to the end. BUT the author is so self absorbed, she makes herself out to be a victim turned sex addict all the while patting herself on the back. Her teacher says she is the sexiest woman he's ever seen, basically every man she meets has never had better. The end was really disappointing, I kept thinking of her poor kids if they ever read this! She makes her marriage seem fake, talks freely of an abortion, as well as her frustration and dislike for her oldest son. Then she speaks of the son fondly for the next couple of chapters, but the other son was referred to as 'Daniel's baby brother'
She thinks marijuana is awful, but cocaine is fine, she's taught how to masturbate at 8 and even gets her own Penthouse magazines. It wasn't Glass House but I still recommend it.
Book Review: The Apple Don't Fall Far From the Tree
Summary: 1 Stars
This is full of self-absorbed people...she wouldn't smoke pot, but it was okay to snort cocaine...the promiscuity....she knew better...the privileged don't live like us normal folks...no morals, etc...Book Review: Warning - There is Much That is Distasteful and Offensive Here
Summary: 2 Stars
Spoiler alert: There is so much in this book that some of you might find truly ugly, I'm going to have to write a warning review.
I was going along with this story as best as I could manage with all the promiscuous and pointless sex, both from the mother and the daughter. It was shocking and ugly when the mother kept sleeping with the daughter's friends -- although later we find out this may or may not have happened at all.
Then it got very distasteful when the daughter begins an affair with her high school teacher, right under his wife's nose. People get arrested for behavior like this, and the wife, when she finds out, seems to accept it. Women's lib takes a giant step backward.
We have a brief interlude of Susanna sleeping with the same men as her sister, and then she finds her true love, and they get a puppy. Here's where I nearly put the book down for good. The puppy bites so they have it euthanized. Wow, that's brutal, but it gets worse. She gets pregnant, and after one day of pretending they're happy about it and one day of pretending they're going to abort it, the husband votes to abort it and she does it! Even though she doesn't want to! Women's lib takes another giant step backward. Now I am really disgusted. This woman has put down a puppy and a baby within a couple of chapters. Then just a few months later, the husband decides NOW he's ready to be a father. Meanwhile, Susanna gets a part-time job as a counselor at an abortion clinic, so we get to wallow in the misery and horror of that. (So if you believe in saving puppies and babies and not seducing teenagers, you're going to hate this book.)
This is one damaging, nasty family. The mother is a liar, drug addict and nymphomaniac and carries on sexually in front of her two daughters like a latter day Britney Spears, and the daughters turn out no better, except we're supposed to like Susanna at the end when she mothers two little boys, keeps her marriage together, and lives on a budget in Montana. And who cares if she doesn't go visit her mother in the Bahamas after she has a car accident (and incidentally, doesn't die, so I don't understand the title. I wouldn't spend the money to visit her either.)
Sonnenberg is a "writer," and I put that in quotes because she writes like someone trying a little too hard to be a writer. This trashy life is told in overly genteel, descriptive prose and although she realizes this kind of life is not normal, I have a hard time seeing her as a victim, and even now, you can't be sure she believes her own behavior was as ugly as her mother's. If all this was going on in a trailer park instead of luxury New York condos, it'd be just trash.
It almost seems like a B movie, it's so over the top. Even the adulterous history teacher she had the affair with dies a horrible cancer death, like a 1950s movie retribution. I'm not going to be surprised when this does become a movie starring.....who? Too bad Shirley MacLaine is too old to play the mother now.
My other frustration is both mother and the daughters are always judging men on whether they're good in bed, but not once is it explained what the definition of good in bed is. By what standard are they judging? And the three women are positive they are excellent in bed, so terrific, they can get anyone they want...and they do. And I'm not sure how they're doing this either except making themselves absolutely available for sex wherever whenever with whomever. What makes them good lovers? Sonnenberg doesn't share, so you don't even learn a trick or two from this ghastly story. And yes, we have a lesbian episode, too.
So, in summary, if you have problems with any of these topics, don't read this book:
Mothers and daughters sharing lovers
High school teachers seducing their students
Dogs with behavior problems being euthanized
Abortion
Book Review: Her last death-memoir
Summary: 5 Stars
This book illustrates the hope and change that can come out of tragedy.
A mother raising daughters in a chaotic world, whether because of addiction or mental illness, and near-sociopathic self-involvement would crush most children. Sonnenburg uses her life experience with an emotionally vacant mother to resurrect herself and create a new life for herself and for her children.
Sonnenburg's ability to create her own life, and finally accept her mother's inability to 'be there', reminds me of Alice Miller's words; "...for the human soul is virtually indestructible and its ability to rise from the ashes remains as long as the body draws breath."
This author shows courage in finding her own adult life out of harsh experiences. When family members are destructive, it is okay to leave them, in my view.
Then healing can happen.
The book is well put together. Very readable and an inspiration to anyone who has destructive parents (OR siblings) in their lives.
Worth reading !