How to Say It For Women: Communicating with Confidence and Power Using the Language of Success
by Phyllis Mindell

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Book Reviews of How to Say It For Women: Communicating with Confidence and Power Using the Language of Success

Book Review: Packed with tips to get from weak to strong language
Summary: 4 Stars

Mindell describes in detail the grammar and words that weaken language, explaining why women in particular often fall into the traps. She, then, leads the reader through 9 learning chapters full of techniques and tips to develop strong language and communication. It is a comprehensive workbook, emphasising practical development with dozens of tips, quick fixes, action plans and even crib sheets. But there is also plenty of substantive theory to explain why certain forms of grammar or words do not work and why others do. For example, over four pages she describes the problems of using "I" - that it makes the speaker seem childish, self-centered, it can bestow undeserved blame for issues and can lead to use of the f-word ("feel" - another no,no of powerful language). The weakness of "to be" verbs (is participating, was successful - instead of participates, succeeded, good strong action verbs) was a revelation to me.

Maybe it is all obvious and a matter of common sense to some. I defy even the best communicators not to benefit from her deep understanding of the problems and practical techniques drawn together and presented in this easy to follow way. And the rest of us with a lifetime of weak habits will make a step change in our communications both spoken and written. I have put her ideas into practice and in just two short weeks have received excellent feedback on my drafts.

The book is clearly structured. After an introductory chapter (rather poor and confused compared with what comes next), there are chapters on language pitfalls to avoid, strong language to use, body language, presentations, powerful writing and reading, listening skills, dealing with put-downs (including a fantastic "menu" to choose from depending on the situation) and finally a couple of chapters on leadership and language. This last section feels like an afterthought. It is underdeveloped for such a significant topic, almost meriting a book in its own right.

I stopped short of 5 stars for two reasons. Firstly, at times the book is slightly gimmicky, for instance I struggle to view a fictional spider (Charlotte from "Charlotte's Web" by E B White) as a potential role model of strong language for women. Secondly, the first chapter is confusing, jumpy and repetetive, and the last section tails off. But the middle - some 200 pages is spot-on, insightful, and practical, guaranteed to improve communication.

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