Reviews for Reaching Out

Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen Summary and Reviews

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Book Reviews of Reaching Out

Book Review: Life Changing Book: Helped me Overcome a Personal Crisis
Summary: 5 Stars

Nouween explains there are three transition states of spirituality comprised of the following:

1.) From loneliness to solitude,
2.) From hostility to hospitality, and
3.) From illusion to prayer.

The book itself is refreshing in the sense human loneliness is taken to its bottom components leading to the acceptance of solitude. By seeking out others for console people do not directly deal with hurt themselves or seek prayer in God.

"Often we go to good men and women with our problems in the secret hope that they will take our burden away from us and free us from our loneliness," (Nouwen, 35).

Overall, according to Nouwen, we seek attention and connection unfulfilled in social situations influenced by culture, however, Nouwen expresses loneliness as a normal encounter. By dwelling in solitude we are able to understand our loneliness as a component of understanding our inner-self. Secondly Nouwen expresses how hostility interferes with our ability to truly be hospitable, "When we have become sensitive to the painful contours of our hostility we can start identifying the lines of its opposite toward which we are called to move: hospitality," (Nouwen, 71).

Interestingly Nouwen expresses true hospitality as the ability to give people options rather than limitations. Instead of cornering a stranger- giving the ability of freedom and befriending a person with no ulterior motives is truly warranted of the title of hospitality in its various forms.

Accordingly by not keeping in touch with prayer we loose what we have worked hard to grow, (Nouwen, 116), by creating an illusion of our own mortality and meaning. Nouwen says sentiment can manifest false expectations however I must question whether it is really a technique of human comfort. As there are many ways to be hospitable there are as many ways to pray. Sometimes it is necessary to realize the variations of how to pray in order to pray with heart.

Although Nouwen explains how spirituality changes through steps it is necessary to recognize the importance of desperation. About a year and a half ago I suffered an unusual injury to my knee, I injured the saphenous nerve and had a 30 percent muscle loss within 6 weeks, not only that I also suffered from problematic gait and knee tracking problems. It wasn't until I reached out to God after five chemical nerve blocks that I decided to go for one alternative medical procedure, a heat treated nerve block where burning the myelin sheath prevents pain signals from traveling to the brain. I questioned what God wanted from me, and what he wanted me to learn from this experience, and whether I should put myself under another painful procedure. I was at the end of understanding as it had affected every aspect of my life including the ability to even grocery shop on my own. Up until then I had never experienced a situation where I felt I had no control. At the bottom of feeling desperate my only choice was to reach out to God for help, as difficult as that was he answered my prayers as simple as that. I virtually had no pain with the last procedure as I am now working on building muscle. At that moment I did feel lonely, hostility, and had the illusion modern medical science was all I needed. "Being the expression of our greatest love, it does not keep pain away from us (Nouwen,107)."

Until then I believed I was spiritual however the experience alone not only strengthened my spirituality but also understanding of God and of people in debilitating situations.

As Nouwen believes solitude is necessary: Is there such a thing as too much solitary? At what point do people cross into the understanding solitude can produce positive results? With that in mind, is solitude too much to handle for some people? Nouwen makes a good point that interaction with God and the Holy Spirit opens paths of understanding the self. I found the book enlightening in opening my eyes to themes around me and those used to control.

As Nouwen questions the legitimacy of prayer in forms of illusion I do not think prayer is ever meant to portray illusions of grandour, immortality, or selfishness but rather many pray for positive meaning in themselves and others. I can understand if Nouwen's point referred to non-Christians and Christians alike letting prayer fall to the wayside of illusions however prayer itself is generally heartfelt.

This book aligned at the right time coming out of a personal crisis which allowed me to question my own meaning of spirituality and sanctity. It is interesting this book happened to be required when it did. It is inspiring to step back and look closer at the necessary steps to produce meaningful prayer and understanding. Going forward I will continue to question myself and my ability to counsel effectively and will continue to give up my control to God.

(By Lisa Marie Statler)

Final Note: Telephone Counseling and Online Counseling can be very good ways of helping someone get through a hard time. If you're interested in learning more about this, try this clinical guide: The Therapist's Clinical Guide to Online Counseling and Telephone Counseling: The Definitive Training Guide for Clinical Practice


Book Review: Loved this book.
Summary: 5 Stars

This book is to be read and re-read. It has many layers and is very honest. It deals with issues we all face and questions we all ask ourselves (and God). Great insight for peacemakers.

Book Review: Nouwen at his Systematic Best!
Summary: 5 Stars

Someone once quipped that Henri Nouwen was such a gifted writer that anything he scribbled out even on a discarded bus ticket deserved to get published! Having read many of his published works, I would nod heartily at that hyperbolic statement! There is in Nouwen's simple and beautiful literary expressions a profound grasp of life in the Spirit with all its odd tensions and paradoxes. This shows in the schema he uses in this book which sees the progress in the spiritual life not so much as a ladder one climbs unabated to the end goal (visio dei!) that traditional authors deigned to employ. It is more like the polarity that one shuttles back and forth between the Spirit and the flesh (in the language of St Paul). But here he creatively uses the idea of "Reaching Out'- to self, to others and to God. In these three movements of outreach, one finds himself experiencing the deepening of the life of faith when he moves from the false self of loneliness to the true self of solitude, from hostility towards others to hospitality and finally from the illusions of hubris to prayer.

These concepts are not new but Nouwen has a refreshing way of weaving together the ancient Scriptures and the time-tested wisdom of the spiritual fathers and mothers with the modern struggles of contemporary men as well as his own existential issues. He writes in such a way that those with eyes to see could recognize the images and stirrings of their own hearts in them and perhaps discover for themselves the way out of the maze one often finds himself. I particularly love the way he retells the ancient stories of the Zen masters as well as those of the Eastern Orthodox teachers. No one tells them like he does within the larger reflections of what it means to live the spiritual life ie. 'to live a life in the Spirit of Jesus Christ'. In this he shows his ecumenical spirit and his clear discernment of truths within the diversity of faith traditions, while remaining deeply anchored in the gospel.

One small complaint that some readers make of Nouwen is that his prolific writings often lack the systematic character that would have helped believers construct a more comprehensive and well thought out understanding of what it means to follow Jesus. I think this critique has some merits because many of his writings are done in the forms of letters (You are my Beloved), spiritual journals (Genesee Diary), case studies (Wounded Healer) and biographical reflections (Adam) which carry a plethora of gems here and there, which some feel need to be pieced together into a beautiful chalice! Then again, perhaps these genres are a more accurate reflection of life itself with all its messy bits and mysteries that do not yield to neat systematization. Having said that, if anyone must have a book that sets out the thoughts of Nouwen in his systematic best, this might well be the book he is looking for as Nouwen answers in three movements the book's central thesis: 'What does it mean to live in the Spirit of Jesus Christ?'. Savour this book slowly and meditatively and be nourished by this deep well of inspiring truths that move the heart as well as the mind.

Book Review: Reaching Out Review
Summary: 4 Stars

Reaching Out was written by a mystic, Catholic priest who was born in Holland but spent most of his life in the United States. The author, Henri Nouwen, gained an impressive following during his teaching years at Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard Universities and wrote 40 books on spirituality ([...]). In 1975, while teaching at Yale, Nouwen wrote Reaching Out which included a special edition inclusion of Beyond the Mirror - an account of Nouwen's perceived near-death experience and the spiritual enlightenment which resulted in some of the views expressed in Reaching Out.
According to Nouwen (1975), the path of spirituality is a journey between polarities in three separate areas. The first area includes the distance between solitude and loneliness; this encompasses reaching toward self. The second area involved reaching toward others and is described as the polarity between hospitality and hostility. Finally, Nouwen discusses the third area, prayer verses illusion, the reaching toward God. The author explains that each individual finds himself somewhere between the extreme poles at different times of his life but that our goal, as Christians, is to remain on the side of solitude, hospitality, and prayer.
Nouwen (1975) posited that loneliness is the sad condition of the fallen human heart which causes us to react to others in selfish ways. He explains that we feel lonely no matter how many people we have around us because it is a condition of the heart and attitude rather than a lack of fellowship. Solitude, on the other hand, is described by Nouwen as a place where we are comfortable with our selves and are therefore able to be comfortable with others. In a place of solitude we are no longer desperately reaching out for others to meet our needs, rather our focus is turned inward and looks to God as our source.
The goal of living a victorious Christian life requires that we have a hospitable attitude toward mankind and nature, rather than approaching it with hostility (Nouwen, 1975). When we begin seeing our friends, employers, children and acquaintances as travelers who are passing through this life with us, we are more able to treat them with hospitality. This attitude self-corrects the hostile attitudes of ownership and debt toward one another. For example, rather than seeing children as your possessions, which will in turn cause pride when they do well, and shame when they do poorly, we should see them as fellow travelers whom we have been given the task of caring for and raising. Nouwen explains that this helps us correctly discipline them when they are young as well as let them go when they are adults.
Lastly, Nouwen (1975) speaks about the importance of the last polarity: illusion verses prayer. Not only was this the most important area to discuss, according to Nouwen, it was the area he was the most familiar with since he worked with the Trappist Monks in the Abby of Genesse in New York (www.henrinouwen.org). Nouwen had a great deal of experience seeking expertise in the art of prayer and stated that it was the most basic task of our lives and yet the most illusive one. He wrote: "...it is very hard to come in touch with it, to get a grasp on it, to get hold of it, or even - to put a finger on it." (p. 84)

Book Review: Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen
Summary: 5 Stars

This is one of the best spiritual books I have read. It brings together all the elements of a healthy and vibrant spiritual life. Easy to read for the non-theologian. Highly recommended!
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