Sausagey Santa
by Carlton Mellick III
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Book Summary Information
Author: Carlton Mellick IIIEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2006-12-19
ISBN: 1933929561
Number of pages: 124
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Book Reviews of Sausagey Santa
Book Review: "I should never have married a woman named Decapitron"
Summary: 5 Stars
The strangest, sickest, most twisted Christmas story you'll ever read. Definitely not one for the kiddies. Carlton Mellick III's perverse sense of humor and rebellious avant-punk novellas are as entertaining as they are abnormal. His signature writing style of simplistic vs. philosophical statement is one of the best in the new Bizarro field of literature. With sharpened wit and graphic descriptivism, he tells the most eccentric and outlandish stories you'll ever have the privilege of reading.
Matt "Sly Guy" Fry is a nondescript guy who wants to be morbidly obese and die middle aged like his parents. He married a woman who legally changed her name to Decapitron. He has four children, Nora, a daughter with a pulsing growth on the side of her head, Angelica, who wears chain saw blades for angel wings, and twin boys named Matt Jr. and Decapitron Jr.
Decapitron is a housewife by day and a Death Sport Street Fighter by profession. She loves Christmas, and makes an exceptional celebration out of it every year. But this year, Santa is caught coming to the Fry house. Santa is made out of sausages, with a gherkin for a nose, green olives for eyes, and walnuts for teeth. Santa comes under attack from the flying coffee birds, who take over the snowmen in Fry's yard, and along with N@zi Frosty, steal not just Santa's bag of toys, but Fry's daughters.
It's up to Santa and the Fry family to bring Christmas back to the world. The coffee birds steal sky-corpses, via the disease train, and use the bodies to become part of Frosty's zombie army. A huge battle ensues at the South Pole where Frosty's evil workshop is. There's exploding reindeers and a cabbage suit, elves that wear Fry's "Sly Guy" signature haircut, snowmen with axes for arms, Burt Reynolds elves, and elves with [....] $exual intents.
Mellick taps the fun side of horror, the fun side of punk, and the fun side of the bizzaro. His novellas are pure and unadulterated amusement, a distraction from the serious world. 'Sausagey Santa' really tops the list of bizzaro fun. If you love Mellick, or are looking for a curious break from reality, then definitely pick up a copy of this book. It's my new Christmas favorite. Enjoy!
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