Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool by Hal Edward Runkel Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool
Book Review: Not Impressed
Summary: 1 Stars
OK, I bought and read ScreamFree Parenting and have to say I was unimpressed. He really does not give you any "action oriented" parenting advice and I could probably boil the book down to a few bullet points:
1. Work on keeping yourself calm in the face of children melting down.
2. Give them latitude to be themselves, learn privacy, and make better choices (read very much like free-spirit parenting of the 60's, including suggestions that you allow your teenage daughter to have boys in her room with the door closed, because you trust her and respect her privacy -- yeah, right).
3. Force children to suffer consequences for their decisions, even if it's difficult for you, as the parent, to follow through with those consequences.
I can't say I would recommend this to anyone -- even getting a library copy would be a stretch, as there are much better parenting books available.
Book Review: Not a substitute for old fashioned Parenting.
Summary: 2 Stars
I am a parent with 2 vibrant young kids in preschool. I can honestly say this book is a 'feel good' book with little meat to it.Most of the book is plain common sense advice package with parenting context. Having said that, the author's experience with his clients helps to flash occasional brilliant advices,but by and large, the book fails miserably as an interesting read or a valuable 'How to'.
Here is an example of brilliant advice that clicked with me ..."If you are screaming at the kid ,then what does it really mean?... Kids, I am unable to handle the situation and so please help me. I am helpless. How do you expect a five year old kid expect to handle the situation". Countless commonsense commonplace advice ...give space, allow them to learn etc.The same book can be packaged with exact similar advice in marriages,work place and wherever there are frictions associated with 2 human beings.
The book has subtle danger to anyone who attempts to follow it. Although not explicitly mentioned, all through the book, it insits that the 'kids' come 'AFTER' you. Many of the problems of kids stem from this root cause where the parents are overwhelmed with their career ambitions, both overworking ( ex: to pay down the credit card debt that they used to go alone on a cruise or the unused golf club membership ).They come home tired , want to watch TV and obviously kids need attention and one of the way kids get your attention is by getting you mad. On the flip side, screaming (helplessly) is equally pervasive in stay at home mom home's and people who are not overwhelmed or a sample family 100 years ago.
My personal experience is that kids need attention,careful nurturing and if proper attention is given , the episodes of tantrums and screaming will go down and it is a process..not few 'How to'steps.Kids and parents should have sufficient and consistent time to sleep.It is very important for kids to follow the routine on weekend also.
Toys,PS2's and Xboxes are poor substitutes for quality parental time. There is a research which says it is far easier for parents to help kids in learning than it is to entertain them. A paper,few crayons can do wonders provided the parent sits with them and participate in the art work.Do not spend hours watching a sports game or a prime time soap which you cannot resist and then expect the kid to resist their childish temptations.
Avoid taking kids to malls where the marketers carefully target the kids and instead take them to libraries,parks etc. Malls are addictions ,even to elders. Read them bedtime stories and I have noticed that advices given during bedtime gets into the kids with no resistance like a nail on a fresh wood. Take the kids to walk is one of the best screamfree parenting techniques I have come across.
When the kids misbehave, usually they are tired,hungry or just trying to convey something which they themselves may not know ( ex:bored ).
There is no substitute for old fashion parenting.Pass on this book for "The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth". If you have read that book before, read it again.Written 30 years back by a psychiatrist, a content heavy book that should be read every page and absorbed before going to next one. It also happens to be one of my favorites and please visit my listmania for some of the literary classics
Book Review: Often off the shelf - but always returned
Summary: 5 Stars
I work as an International School counselor and I have Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool as a resource for our parents. This book is the one that is often checked out, which means the title or a quick thumb through in my waiting room gets parents to want to take it home and spend more time with it.
But what amazes me the most is, it always shows back up on my shelf in a few days. This means the family reads it and feels it is important enough for other families to read. The return it so it can be of value to other families.
I wish all my resources would be so heavily used. Since I work only with the expatriate families, it seems that we all also suffer by 'screaming' or should I say our kids suffer! It is nice to get useable tips.
Book Review: Oh brother....
Summary: 1 Stars
The principles in the book could very well have been presented without the constant references to God. Apparently you are unaware that there are other religions in the world and people believe in many different ways. I find it highly arrogant that you believe your method can apply to many different people when the are based on a religious belief.
God as the first scream free parent? Really?? The God I heard about was very strict and set in his ways. Things were definitely his way or the highway...
I was excited to read your book, but no I am returning it.
Book Review: Perfect
Summary: 5 Stars
Yes it is not a recipe book. It doesn't tell you what is the right thing to do in every case. If such a thing was possible parenting would be as easy as making french toast. It tells you how to FIND the best way to deal with the situation. The best way for you and your child in your particular situation. It offers you to grow, to be responsible for you own actions and to raise happier children. It says that you need to work on yourself, your reactions and expectations. It was very helpful for me. If you need a book of 100 tips look elsewhere. Good luck!