The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of The Gift of Fear
Book Review: A must read for everyone from teenagers to seniors!
Summary: 5 Stars
As a fellow personal protection professional, I found Mr. DeBecker's book to be extremely informative and well written. An absolute must as a training manual for the executive protection field. More importantly, it would be an excellent source for the general public as well. Not only educational but very entertaining to read. It is one of those books you just can't put down. As a crime prevention practitioner and lecturer, I recommend his book to everyone I speak to. Everyone needs the information in this book.Book Review: A must read for women, parents and men who give a ....
Summary: 5 Stars
Finally, someone has validated and verified what I've always known...and depended on. Read this first and then get Protecting the Gift and give it to everyone you know with children. It's just too important! Do not fall for the failing social assumptions...You will always know when you are in danger and be able to really protect your family. My intuition has saved me countless times when all around me told me I was nuts to be so paranoid...Heck, I was a bartender...I always knew who was really dangerous! Thanks Gavin, everyone thought I was ?...then later, they changed their attitude...why do you have to fight so hard for sensible safety? Go figure...Book Review: A must read!
Summary: 5 Stars
This is so full of information we all need. I feel all teachers should read this to realize they CAN have a huge impact on children raised in violence and abuse. Be the good person in their life that may turn them around to be productive instead of more violence and prison. Excellent ways to recognize predator behavior. Excellent in saying women are too polite (even for their own protection) to ignore bad people.Book Review: A question of numerators and denominators
Summary: 3 Stars
Last weekend I stopped to help two stranded motorists and ended up inadvertently driving a prostitute all over town and helping one of the passengers obtain some drugs. I sheepishly told the story to a colleague, who said I have GOT to read "The Gift of Fear"I finished it in two days. It is engaging and interesting: lots of sex and violence. The main thesis of the book is that violent acts do not occur without warning, and trusting and sharpening one's intuition (gut feeling) may save your life. The author recounts how he grew up in a violent home and founded on of the largest risk assessment agencies in the world; one that advices police, movie stars, the FBI, the CIA, and anyone else worried about a possible assailant. After recounting dozens of murders and rapes, he ends his book by warning about watching too much violence in television and becoming overly worried. In his afterward, he recounts tales of several people who have been helped by his book.
Now let me add a little of my own pop psychology: when one is in a conversation with another person, there are two useful things to ask yourself (other than the obvious question of veracity): why is the person telling me what they are and what are they not telling me that normally would be included.
So I'm going to pretend, that the book is the author's conversation. First the why. The author wants to warn us to protect us. But also he includes dozens of examples about how astute he and his agency are. He engages us by telling us that he too has been a victim. He tells us that one can always protect oneself if we use the teachings found in the book, and that in the future it is likely that genetic testing or chemical testing of another individual will do away with his computer test assessments. There is a bit of blaming the victim: they somehow put up blinders to the signals they were getting and they should have known. I've heard the same thing about holocaust victims, and it disturbs me.
Second: what is not told. All murders drank milk at one time in their lives, so milk drinking predicts violence. What is the chance of these same signals occuring in non violent situations? Which are really predictive in differentiating safe from unsafe situations? All people who shoot others have bought, borrowed, or stolen guns, so the absence of these totally predicts safety from being shot, but what is the actual risk from all persons that have a gun. How often to men stop to help a woman that is lifting a heavy suitcase and say "Let me help you with that" (when undoubtedly they should ask rather than say "May I help you") If one wants to talk to someone else, might one use the term "we" rather than "you" and "I" just out of the desire for conversation? These are grey areas.
But most importantly, what is left out is why we discount our intuitions and how we can recognise and correct this. The answer can be found in most con games: we discount our instincts out of pride, greed, habituation, ethical bent, etc. That really should have been directly discussed rather than briefly touched on in a disconnected way.
So if the conclusion is to be more attentive to our "gut feelings", the conclusion is the same as a hundred other self help books and somewhat banal. I would give this a 3/5 stars for engaging writing and some good insights into human nature and descriptions of details often left out of news reports. I wish he diminished his self promotion and scare tactics and had commented on frequency of PIM's in non dangerous situations.
Book Review: A sensible lesson in safety
Summary: 5 Stars
Like many other women, I was raised to be unfailingly polite -- no matter when, where or to who. Gavin De Becker advises another route: It's better to be rude than dead.One of the main points he hammers home is how often women, afraid of being rude or hurting someone's feelings, allow themselves to get into dangerous situations. I can't count how many times I've done it: The guy at a party who says, "Come over here -- there's a guy who says he knows you." The man who approaches you on the street and says, "Hey, baby, you have a boyfriend?"
De Becker also urges us to listen to our inner voice -- the one that says "something here is wrong." Too often, we tell ourselves, "I'm sure he's a perfectly nice man. There's nothing to worry about."
Also important is the chapter on how potential rapists/murders approach victims. The author explains how an attacker tries to get a victim to feel comfortable with him and thus make herself vulnerable.
Of course, there are also plenty of practical safety tips in here. (For example: Don't accept help from someone who approaches you. If you need it, ask for it: The chances of an attacker singling you out are far greater than vice versa.)