The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star
Book Review: Dave Navarro Got Here First
Summary: 3 Stars
Casual fans of Motley Crue probably know Nikki only as the mediocre bass player of the durable 80's glam-punk metal band that's more famous for their hijinks outside the studio than in it. But this would be a mistake, because as any fan who reads their liner notes carefully knows, Nikki is actually the band's chief songwriter and visionary. In "The Heroin Diaries", we learn the extent to which the entire Motley organization hangs on his shoulders, something which prevents the band members and support personnel around him from holding him accountable for his controlling and self-destructive behavior. And the source of this behavior? Nikki attributes it all to his fragmented childhood, (which, while problematic, let's admit it - you've read worse) exaggerated by a supreme amount of chemical foolishness.
How interesting you find this has a lot to do with whether or not you've already read Motley's "The Dirt", Richard Cole's "Zeppelin Uncensored", or, best of all, Dave Navarro's "Don't Try This At Home". In fact, by the time you get through your third or so heroin-addled rock biopic, you start nodding off over how similar they are. Read one, read them all - and note that they tell almost the same story of addiction, violence and professional immaturity that rapidly becomes very wearying. You can almost reduce these to a few paragraphs apiece based on what they -don't- have in common, and besides - since the author is still alive, you already know how things are going turn out.
The best parts of "Diaries" are the little bits of behind-the-scenes business information where Nikki occasionally stops to lift the curtain of how the concert and recording industry really works; unfortunately, there's not enough of this information to make the book worth buying just for this.
Although Nikki has appeared on TV promoting the book as "a cautionary tale", one can only wonder at the book's presentation - obscured on nearly every single page with garish, sloppy Ralph Steadman-style art and aggro red-font on black color schemes designed to make Nikki's wasted year look as oh-so-rock cool as possible. One of the few high (and unintentionally comedic) points I took from this book was how professional Whitesnake (and heck, by comparison even Guns & Roses!) was and how Nikki couldn't stand the former because... they Practiced, Showed Up On Time, Put On A Good Show, and/or Were Professional! As a glam rat, Nikki had no time for such things and almost certainly felt that leaving an elegantly wasted corpse would be good enough to reign over his peers.
Book Review: Get the soundtrack too!
Summary: 5 Stars
I confess that I knew of Motley Crue, but didn't know who Nikki Sixx was, before last week. I was lucky enough to receive his book and CD at a function where he was talking about his recovery from addiction. The book is great, and it is 10 times better when you also listen to the soundtrack. Amazing lyrics and music.
If you've ever wanted to undersand someone who's been depressed or addicted to anything, this book unflinchingly expresses what some of those thoughts and feelings are like. And, if you have ever been depressed or addicted yourself, you will be reminded that you are not alone. Ultimately, this is a hopeful story of survival and healing.
For those who wonder how an adult can still be dealing with childhood pain, all I can say is that unresolved stuff can stay with you for a lifetime, whether you're conscious of it or not. Hats off to anyone who has the courage to face their hurts and anxieties, and who helps others do the same.
The soundtrack is absolutely cathartic. The more you listen to the words and music, the more you feel for what Nikki and others have gone through. If you are taken aback by casual sex and profanity, this book is not for you. But if you want to glimpse the human feelings underneath, I recommend the book and especially the soundtrack.
Book Review: Why go half way when you can go ALL the way?
Summary: 5 Stars
As an author (Selections from the Serial Killer Cookbook (The Handbook for America's Youth)) that goes to great lengths pull skeletons out of my own closets, it is nice to see another do the same. I read through this in a few short sittings and had a really hard time putting it down. Compelling, honest, with warts and all included. Many in the position of Mr. Sixx would laugh at the idea of sharing their sordid past with the public but most are more concerned with their relationship with the press than with their fans. Sixx does a great job of making his fans, addicts, recovering addicts, and his readers aware of where his head was (or wasn't) at during this dark period in his life.
The Heroin Diaries is written in such a human way that it is very easy for anyone to relate to. It is also nice to have the commentary by those other than Nikki that were present throughout this journey. Their comments, good and bad, really make the reader wake up to the horrors of this kind of situation. A great read, and The Heroin Diaries soundtrack is a good listen as well.
Book Review: Insight into the life of a shattered rockstar...
Summary: 5 Stars
In 1987 Motley Crue recorded Girls, Girls, Girls, toured with the then unknown Guns 'n Roses, sold out shows around the country (and world) and partied like they always had a day left to live. The previous book to tell the tale of this excess, The Dirt, felt more like a glorification of the excesses of the band, even though it addressed all the drug abuse Nikki Sixx subjected himself to, subsequent overdoses that almost killed him and reemergence towards a cleaner lifestyle. Basically, you take those chapters of The Dirt and make them their own book and you have The Heroin Diaries.
The book is set up like a diary. In fact, it is a diary: the book accounts the year (Christmas 1986 to Christmas 1987) that Nikki spiraled down a deep hole of addiction and depression and kept insanely careful track of it in a notebook. In addition to his entries (cleaned up a bit so we can understand them), Nikki includes commentary from himself as well as those who were close to him at the time (it's clear that a lot of care and work was undertaken to get all of these voices lined up to tell this story).
I'm reminded of one entry where Nikki says in passing that he had a blast at a radio interview the other night, but probably got the DJ fired. The commentary afterwards is the DJ's account of the debauchery that went down that night (and, yes, he did indeed get fired).
Nikki doesn't pull any punches and asked all of his contributors to do the same. They are brutally honest and help paint a magnificent picture of what it is like to find yourself on a speeding train charging forward into a brick wall. If you ever wanted to know what the rock and roll lifestyle was like, or what it feels like to be addicted to drugs, this is the memoir for you.
It's actually amazing to me that there could possibly have been any lucid entries. We assume of course that a number of them were cleaned up by the editor, but there are times when you are stunned at Sixx's foresight into the future of the industry (the eventual downfall of the hair metal genre by the flood of copycat bands), the future of the band (that they'd make their next record a #1 album) and even his own dim foreboding of the consequences of his lifestyle.
He talks to the diary as if it were a person, as if it were his wife and only confidant in the world during that year (and it probably was). He addresses it with things like, "I have to go to the show now, but I'll see you when I get back tonight." When he departs without an entry for several days (sometimes simply because he is sober and sane) he is always apologetic and makes jokes about how he only writes to it when he is on drugs.
The book pages are broken up with scribblings, notes that presumably came out of the original dairy (To Do lists, lost lyric ideas, notes and the like), drug abuse inspired art and photographs of the people and places addressed, as well as song lyrics from a whole career of Sixx's songwriting. There are Motley Crue songs, songs from his 58 solo album, and songs from bands Nikki has adored in his life and reflect his lifestyle then and now.
Each chapter is a month in the year, with an introduction, intermission and afterward included to set us up, take a break to reflect and plow forward into the future. The afterward in particular is interesting, because in it Sixx explains what happened in his life after that year: getting on and off the drugs, his failed marriages, his struggling band, his solo projects; everything (he calls it his Life After Death). It goes up to and beyond everything covered in The Dirt, and answers a number of niggling questions leftover from that book, like what was going on during the Girls Tour, what did some of the people mentioned in that book think about things discussed (Slash talking about his interactions with Nikki back then and his own struggling band and drug addictions), or whatever had become of certain events (like all that drama with Vanity).
I found myself taking the ups (yes, there were good days) and downs along with Nikki on his ride of drug use, paranoia, rage, attempts at detox, thrills and pitfalls of touring, women, joys of songwriting and love of music, falling off the wagon, struggling on, wondering if he was killing himself, hoping for a way out, dying and coming back to life. I found myself reading an entry, wondering a question about it, and having it answered by the commentary. I also found myself wondering if the now clean and sober Vanity, turned Evangelist, is really any less insane than she was back then. Sure the drugs are gone, but the woman seems like she has a few permanent screws loose (there's one entry where she rambles on about the devil, leaving you thinking, "huh?," and then there's Nikki's commentary under hers going "Huh?" as well: fantastic!).
The book has a message and Nikki Sixx has a hope that by writing this, that by laying his weaknesses bare for the world to see, that maybe that message can get through to people: the tunnel is dark but there is a light at the end, and even though it's probably better if you don't get into that tunnel in the first place, just because you are there doesn't mean there is no hope for you.
I'm definitely sold on this book, as I was already sold on the sountrack weeks ago. I highly recommend it to fans of the band, fans of rock and roll, people interested in learning about the dangers of excess and any open-minded and curious individuals in general. It's a good read all around.
Book Review: The Heroin Diaries
Summary: 5 Stars
By Rev. John of PC LIVE!
One of the most memorable moments from VH-1's "Behind the Music" was Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx telling the story of his outer body experience. He had just overdosed, was presumed dead, yet revived at the last minute...and he saw all this from above. What BTM doesn't tell you was that Slash from Guns n' Roses was with him at the time. It doesn't tell you of the chaos amongst his bandmates wondering if he was alive or not. It also doesn't tell you the depression and drug addiction that haunted Sixx in the year preceding this most recent overdose. These are all some of the things Nikki shares with gruesome detail in "The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rockstar."
"The Heroin Diaries" is a journal Nikki started on Christmas Day 1986 to, among other reasons, remember what he did the day before. This was a fascinating entry point for me personally because it was right before the writing and recording of the "Girls, Girls, Girls," album and was my introduction to Motley Crue. Twelve year old me looked at Motley as the coolest band on the planet, and even planned to use "Wild Side" when I made my debut as a pro wrestler (don't laugh, I was twelve). Thirty-two year old me was surprised to read just how depressed and suicidal Nikki was at the time.
I was even more surprised to read that "Wild Side" was actually a bastardization of The Lord's Prayer, and inspired by his friend's daughter, a seventeen year old Catholic school girl who used to stop by between classes for reasons that had nothing to do with prayer (though, she may have still been on her knees).
The twenty year difference between when you first discovered the band and reading "The Heroin Diaries" now is the most interesting aspect of the book. As a kid growing up in the 80's, "Shout at the Devil" back patch in all, The Crue were gods. They rocked. They partied. They had all the girls. This was the life you wanted to live. This was what it was all about.
Who knew that, while we were idolizing the man, Nikki Sixx was sitting on the floor in the closet in his bedroom, alone, shooting up as much heroin as he could get his hands on and wanting to die? The lifestyle we all grew up wanting as teenagers suddenly stopped looking so glamorous. It actually looks pretty sad.
That was 1987 for Nikki Sixx. Throughout the recording and touring of "Girls, Girls, Girls," that was his life. Save for fifteen days in May when he was clean and sober (except for the alcohol and the cocaine), it was doing as much drugs as he needed too just to make it through the day. There was still the debauchery you would expect; he was a rockstar after all. But at the end of the day there was just a junkie all alone, both physically and emotionally.
The "Diaries" weren't all about the drugs. Nikki also went into his feelings about the recording industry, all the other bands that were biting off of Motley's style, his management, and even his bandmates. I also had no idea that Slash was a friend of his from before "Appetite for Destruction" was released. There was a day in August when Axl Rose had actually called Nikki to tell him that Slash was all "strung out" and wanted to know if Nikki could help him or say something to him. Think about that one.
If it sounds like I'm down on him, I'm not. I'm still a Motley Crue fan, and even more so of Nikki personally. Even when you strip away all the bells and whistles that go along with being one of the biggest bands in the world, there's a guy who remains passionate about what he does, and more importantly, remains passionate about music.
But he didn't publish these diaries to say "look at me and look how cool it was to be in Motley Crue." He published them for the future rockers and/or junkies as a guide book of what not to do. He's been there and done that. He knows all the excuses and he knows all the tricks. He's also lucky to be alive. "The Heroin Diaries" is his way of telling people not to make the same mistakes.