The Letters of Abelard and Heloise (Penguin Classics)
by Peter Abelard, Heloise
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Book Summary Information
Author: Heloise, Peter AbelardEditor: Michael Clanchy
Translator: Betty Radice
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2004-04-27
ISBN: 0140448993
Number of pages: 384
Publisher: Penguin Books
Book Reviews of The Letters of Abelard and Heloise (Penguin Classics)
Book Review: A summary
Summary: 3 Stars
Letter 1 (Historia Calamitatum), Abelard to a friend. You think you have it bad? Let me tell you about the mess I've been through and you'll feel a lot better (p. 3). Things were going great until the other professors realized I was smarter than they were and hated me for it. And then I met Heloise, and things really went downhill from there. Her looks were okay, and I'm a handsome dude, so I thought she'd be easy (p. 10). Her uncle Fulbert was an idiot to leave me alone with her (pp. 10-11). I was her teacher and she was just a kid, but I couldn't keep my hands off her. I slapped her around a little to make it look like I was teaching her and not doing her (p. 11). We went at it like rabbits. I knocked her up, she had a kid, and Uncle Fulbert made us get hitched. It was supposed to be a secret, but Fulbert started to spill the beans, so I put Heloise in a convent. That really pissed off Fulbert, so he made a steer out of me (pp. 16-17). Then I made Heloise take the veil, and I became a monk. Now I'm stuck in a hellhole of a monastery in Brittany with a bunch of thugs.
Letter 2, Heloise to Abelard. I just saw the letter you wrote to your friend. Too bad things have been tough, but how come I haven't gotten a letter from you in over 10 years? I think about you all the time, you big stud. It makes me crazy. I'd rather be called your whore than your wife (p. 51). All the girls were jealous of me; we still sing your songs (pp. 52-53). I'd really like to get a letter from you, especially since it was your idea that I become a nun (p. 53). You were a real jerk back then when you waited to make sure I became a nun before you became a monk (p. 54). The least you can do is write.
Letter 3, Abelard to Heloise. How am I supposed to know you wanted to hear from me? I figured you've had better things to do in the last few years than read my letters. Be a good sister and don't worry about me. But if I kick the bucket, bury me at the convent (p. 61).
Letter 4, Heloise to Abelard. Don't talk that way! It makes me crazy to think of you dead. It seems especially unfair that Uncle Fulbert waited until after we were married to get the knives out. I loved doing the nasty with you. All I do is remember us getting it on. I can't even sleep (pp. 68-69). I really can't stand it.
Letter 5, Abelard to Heloise. Black women are not as good-looking as other women, but they have nice teeth and soft skin - it's better to keep them behind closed doors, you know (pp. 73-75). Do you remember when I used to smack you around when you weren't in the mood (p. 81)? Quit your complaining. Let's write only about religious stuff from now on.
Letter 6, Heloise to Abelard. Are there any loopholes in the Benedictine Rule for nuns?...
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