The Lost Daughters of China by Karin Evans Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of The Lost Daughters of China
Book Review: Lost Daughters of China
Summary: 5 Stars
Since my own daughter is in the process of adopting a baby from China, I thought this book would give me insight in the whole process. The author is from the Bay area so we had much in common.The book was very informative. Book Review: A must read for anyone contemplating adoption from China
Summary: 5 Stars
I found this book to capture a lot of the concepts involved in the path to adoption. The style of writing is very good and enjoyable and easy to read. I have sent this book out on loan to many of my friends and family to open their eyes to the "big picture" of adoption. There was a bit of repartition in a couple of spots but that's about all I could critisise. A great read to help prepare for the whole process.
Highly recommended!!
Book Review: Outstanding and still timely
Summary: 5 Stars
This is still the preeminent resource. I have read so many memoirs, stories, studies and the like in this subject area. I want to be very informed as I have adopted from China. I read this one before I went to China and was awaiting our referral. Some of the material is a tad dated but the essence still holds true. There isn't a better resource to read in my opinion. The Children Can't Wait by Laura Cecere is also fabulous but more stilted but well worth your time if you can find a copy. The Lost Daughters of China is fabulous and worth your time.
Book Review: great read
Summary: 5 Stars
this book was very informative, opening my eyes to all of what is going on behind the scenes both here in USA and in China. I am looking forward to my adoption soon, and I know that I will appreciate all that went into making that happen after reading this book. Book Review: Major Disagreements
Summary: 1 Stars
While I realize that many readers enjoy approaching a topic through the author's personal experiences, people like myself will find much of this book self indulgent.
Other parts of the book deal with the things like the adoption community (see the Families With Children From China website instead), and the single child policy. As a long time member of Zero Population Growth I can hardy be impartial on the latter, but why spend an entire chapter on the single child policy if later on you are going to say that gender ratios in India are even worse?
I expect that one of the target audiences for this book is parents deciding whether or not to adopt from China. While I myself would strongly recommend it, I am also one of the parents the book mentions for whom the lack of identifiable birth parents was a major selling point. Of course, many adoptive parents have the opposite desire, and perhaps they might consider places like Korea or Guatemala (Obviously domestic would be even better for those adoptive parents, but it might be considered impossible). My Korean niece and nephew know what city their biological parents are from, their occupation and why they were given up for adoption. They could probably find their biological parents very easily if they ever chose to (They are in their teens and have no desire to do so as of yet in spite of their parents urging). Under Guatemalan law the birth mother must remain in contact through the entire adoption process, signing off multiple times, including at the end of the process. I read of one couple who suffered the heartbreak of a delay because the woman who claimed to be the birth mother failed the blood test so the child was not eligible for adoption.
With this in mind, the place where this book and I part company is in approaching an adopted child when all you have to go on is one sentence in an adoption report. I strongly agree with the expert who is quoted in the book as saying "Tell your daughter the truth. Tell her you don't know where she comes from." as well as the author's friend who says "I think there is not the looking inward in China that you imagine". Therefore I wince when the author says about an imaginary conversation with the birth mother that "I imagine this partly out of my own projection and wishful thinking, I know. I want my daughter to have been wanted." Or that "You have to assume that love was involved."
The vast majority of adoption literature that we have received specifically says not to tell your child that the biological parents loved them. Even the literature that does recommend telling the child that the biological parents loved them then goes on to urge you not to tell your child that giving them up for adoption was an act of love, as love then becomes equated with abandonment. One psychiatrist was quoted as saying that many of his clients are in therapy because of such statements. This book never explicitly encourages such statements, but I expect that many readers would take it this way.
------------------Ed
Tianan