The Menstruating Mall by Carlton Mellick III Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of The Menstruating Mall
Book Review: Read this instead of Stephen King
Summary: 4 Stars
Faster, funner, grosser, funnier, cleverer, weirder... everything "-er." If you're sick of the same old 400 pg. snooze with a little twist at the end, read this instead. It's got the humor and the horror that makes a great horror movie, plus the pacing to get you through it.Book Review: Squiggy's House Of Pudding offers Toilet-Flavored Éclairs!
Summary: 5 Stars
Okay, I understand this is a obtuse book with a silly name, but the gross-out entertainment value is absolutely priceless. Carlton Mellick III is one of the most interesting, and sick, punk-authors I've ever read. From gross-out horror to cyber-punk, Mellick holds nothing back.
John is a stereotypical corporate climber and satisfied consumer. He loves shopping at the mall, until he discovers he can't leave. No one is stopping him; he simply can't bring himself to walk out the doors. At first, he believes he is afraid to get the gooey, red-rust fluid leaking from the pipes on his expensive new shoes, but as he discovers there are others just like him, others who cannot bring themselves to leave the mall, his strange compulsion turns to fear.
Ten people, stuck in the mall, and now they are alone because everyone else suddenly disappears. But being unable to leave isn't their worst problem: someone is murdering them one-by-one, and the only way to save themselves is to stop being stereotypical.
Mellick is an acquired taste, horribly demented in a talented, wickedly entertaining way; a taste you simple must sample. I can't think of many other authors able to twist reality so sickly, and still inject enough humor for some truly torturous belly chuckles.
Mellick's style is fresh and unique, using overly-simplistic prose at the beginning of the story to a wildly fantastical conclusion, Mellick paints with words and prose John's transformation from caterpillar to butterfly, stereotypical to outlandish, real to surreal. 'The Menstruating Mall' is sarcastic humor and commercial parody at its absolute finest.
You need a twisted sense of humor, and should have an appreciation for poo jokes in order to fully enjoy the illustrations of advertisements interspersed throughout the book. And don't forget, at S'Barro Pizzeria, there are amputated noses free with every purchase!
If you like gross-out horror, punk, or dark comedy, then don't miss out on this highly entertaining look into our era's perverse commercialism. I highly recommend this book, but caution those with weak constitutions to make sure there is a barf bag nearby. Enjoy!
Book Review: Truth in Stereotypes
Summary: 5 Stars
This book was so much fun that I read it in one sitting, and this is a rarity for me.
For me, the book is a surrealist account of the evolution of mankind if we lived in a mall rather than on planet Earth.
Although I would thoroughly despise the main character if I met him in person, he is written so well that he's probably my favorite character of all the Carlton Mellick books that I've read.
And the illustrations are great!
This is one of my favorite books by this author. Carlton's writing keeps getting better and better and I foresee works of brilliance in his future.
Book Review: Very Simplistic Writing
Summary: 2 Stars
I was very disappointed in this story. Based on reviews that I had read I was eagerly awaiting a surrealistic nightmare peppered with poigniant social commentary in a style that I had yet to be exposed to.
The book reads like a moderately talented high schooler's short story. This proves that being able to string sentences together in a cognizant way does not a great author make.
I found the dialogue very simplistic and assuming, and the narrative was boring in contrast to the psychotic events taking place. I wish there had been a more enticing use of language and maybe a little depth to the characters.
The story ends in a fantasy, but none of the questions ever get answered. Why is the mall menstruating? What does it all mean? Why couldn't anybody leave?
I feel like the author had a clear message in his mind that just didn't come across to me
Book Review: What's with the large print?
Summary: 1 Stars
Aside from the fact that I found this to be the weakest book I've read all year, I really couldn't get past the overly large type. If the type was the same size as most normal novels it would probably be 50 pages instead of 200+ pages, thus making it a bad short story instead of a bad novel. Not as strange, smart, or different as I thought it might be....oh, and the drawings stink.