The New Dare to Discipline
by James C. Dobson
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Book Summary Information
Author: James C. DobsonBrand: Spring Arbor/Ingram
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1996-03-22
ISBN: 0842305068
Number of pages: 288
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Book Reviews of The New Dare to Discipline
Book Review: 1-star reviewers HAVE tried this book
Summary: 1 Stars
We were the children. Please listen to us. Our feedback is what your children will say if you use this book on them. It is true that they will be well-behaved, but they will learn to hide themselves from you because they fear you. They will not come to you for advice or support, and you will eventually be shut out of their lives even if you don't realize it. You have no idea the damage this book causes. You never will, unless you are on the receiving end of it, which is impossible if you are the parent (thus they tend to be the 5 star-givers). My parents were loving and well-intentioned who used this book as their bible on child-rearing. They thought they were helping us by holding back on affection and encouragement, and instead "loved" us with corporal punishment. The physical pain was fleeting, but the emotional pain is everlasting. The only time I remember being hugged and told I was loved was after being spanked. Can you imagine how this affects you into adulthood? Our society loves to deal in extremes - if you don't hit your children, they will be spoiled and miserable. There are other ways to discipline a child. Spanking only teaches them to fear you. It doesn't teach them to make good decisions based on rational thought. What will you do when your children are too old to be spanked? What if they hit back?
I don't know why, but at 29, I still can't get over it. Neither can my alcoholic 31 year old brother who is more verbally abusive and disrespectful to his parents than any other son I have ever seen. Maybe this is because they will never admit that this style of child-rearing was harmful, because that would force them to look too closely at what they did to us. I am "successful" by modern standards - graduated from UC berkeley, getting my PhD. Same for my husband who was never spanked by his hippy divorced parents. Oh, and he has an infinitely open, honest and mature relationship with his parents that I can only dream about. Point being, there are myriad ways to grow your child into a happy, well-adjusted successful adult. One this is for sure though, if you put garbage in (corporal punishment) you can expect garbage out (damaged relationship your child for life).
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