The Pocket Parent by Gail Reichlin, Caroline Winkler Summary and Reviews
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Book Reviews of The Pocket Parent
Book Review: Pocket Size Is Too Small
Summary: 2 Stars
It's a great idea but the pocket size is too small especially for grandparents. There is also nothing new in the entire book and the humor is lacking.Book Review: Positive Discipline Requires Adults to Think Before They Act
Summary: 5 Stars
I totally agree with the internationally recognized and respected author of "The Difficult Child", Dr Stanley Turecki, regarding his endorsement on the back of this very easy to read discipline guide...that "The Pocket Parent" is not only filled with hundreds of practical specific strategies to try immediately in the heat of the moment, but that the authors offer "depth" towards long term understanding regarding "the why's" of children's behavior problems and how to solve them.
Before I read this book, I thought that punishment on the spot was the only way you stay "in charge" as an adult while getting children to pay their dues for their bad behavior....and it wasn't working most of the time with my 3 and 6 year old sons. In fact, when I tried the Supernanny's technique of placing my tantruming toddler on "The Naughty Stool" I did not get any remorse at all from the child but instead I got only revenge and resentment (I couldn't even get my sreaming, punching, arched-back toddler to bend at the waist to sit on the chair at all for the prescribed 3 minutes!) I felt like my son won and I was a failure as the disciplinarian... and I am NOT a wimpy, permissive parent.
"The Pocket Parent" makes so much sense. It does NOT suggest parents "give in" to their children...although it does suggest that we have to choose our battles. I was aware that I can't fight them all in the heat of the moment, but with the guidance of this book, I realized that does not mean that we should forget to address the lesson of the situation later. "Pocket Parent" teaches that discipline is a PROCESS and parents and other childcare professionals have many daily opportunities to discipline (defined as TEACHING not punishing) both in the heat of the moment (to stop the undesirable or dangerous behavior) and then OUTSIDE the heat of the moment to CONTINUE teaching the lesson again and again, including making a plan for success (often with the input of the child) to avoid the same misbehavior from happening in a similar situation. I learned that many of the most "teachable discipline moments" occur when the adult and the child are calm and able to communicate...talk AND listen to each other more effectively.
For example, as suggested in this book, I found that by taking a few minutes BEFORE we leave our house to PRACTICE the proper manners I'm after when we get to my neighbor's, I got the cooperation. We practiced specifically 2 things... 1) the words we use to respectfully greet adults and other children and 2) how my son could politely get my attention without any words (like screaming "excuse me" repeatedly while pounding on my hip)...just by using a signal we agreed upon and practiced (also from the book)...in this case, gently pulling on my little finger to get the attention that he needed to tell me something important as soon as I stopped talking to the other mommy (he decided which hand he would use). Prioritizing the time to make "a plan for success" was the most helpful positive discipline technique I learned from this book. And it is something you can do outside the heat of the moment of a misbehavior.
The second most important strategy I learned is that we as caring, well-meaning parents and caregivers tend to tell children too often what they can't do and not enough of the time what they CAN do. This bit of advice has also made an amazing difference in gaining cooperation from my children.
IF YOU WISH TO RAISE A CHILD WHO WILL (OVER TIME) LEARN HOW TO CONTROL HIS OWN IMPULSES BECAUSE HE HIMSELF WANTS TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT, IS ABLE TO NEGOTIATE AND SOLVE POBLEMS, AND HAS DEVELOPED EMPATHY FOR OTHERS, THIS BOOK IS A MUST...SENSIBLE ADVICE THAT LAYS THE FOUNDATION IN THE EARLY YEARS TOWARDS EFFECTIVE, CARING COMMUNICATION BETWEEN ADULT AND CHILD WHICH IS THE KEY TO SOLVING ALL PROBLEMS AND BECOMING A SENSTATIVE, EMPATHETIC HUMAN BEING.
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PARENTS OR CHILDCARE PROFESSIONALS WHO DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE ENERGY AND TIME NECESSARY TO CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR FIRST IN ORDER TO GET A CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR OF THE CHILD...POSITIVE DISCIPLINE DOES TAKE THOUGHT AND DETERMINATION ON THE PART OF THE ADULT WHILE MAINTAINING THE DIGNITY OF ALL INVOLVED...WELL WORTH THE EFFORT IN OUR HOUSE!
WE ARE PLEASED THAT WE ARE GETTING MORE COOPERATION WITHOUT RESORTING TO SOME MORE AUTOMATIC TACTICS SUCH AS FEAR, GUILT, AND HUMILIATION WHICH CAN ALSO BRING ADULTS COMPLIANCE FROM THE CHILDREN.
Book Review: Practical
Summary: 4 Stars
A good book with some practical advice, however, more topics could have been covered. Example: How to break your preschooler from picking his/her nose!Book Review: Practical advice - and lots of it for a small book!
Summary: 5 Stars
I currently have twins about to turn 3, as well as a 6 year old and a 1 year old. Needless to say, the practical advice found in this book is priceless. Having looked at several books on parenting, this book stands out because of it's simple style, yet completeness in covering the topics addressed.For all of the main areas that most parents have to deal with (tantrums, potty training, getting kids to bed, etc) this book has a section devoted to it - first with a simple question and answer dealing with the issue. Then, a list of tons of practical suggestions, briefly written with entertaining examples - this is the real meat of the book in my opinion - it's like all of the practical advice everyone has ever given on a topic is condensed into that part of this book. Then, each section ends with a bottom line conclusion. These "bottom lines" basically act as that little bit of support every parent needs to deal with the frustration of having kids.
My bottom line is: this book is a really great resource. It definitely makes the perfect gift for new parents, or even as a parent gift for the kids' birthdays. Believe me, a parent will appreciate it!
Book Review: Practical, sanity-saving wisdom for every parent!
Summary: 5 Stars
As a parent of a strong-willed preschooler, The Pocket Parent is THE place to go for all the answers! The A to Z format allows me to pinpoint an issue I'm having with my child, whether it's anger, mealtime issues, tantrums etc., then I flip to the right page for some very positive and easy-to-follow advice with a touch of humor. The book is filled with personal anecdotes...some made me laugh, some touched me profoundly..all were very insightful.This is the best parenting resource book I've found. It's easy and enjoyable to read. Best of all, it's so warmly-written and supportive, it's like getting a big reassuring hug with every turn of the page.
Thanks to Gail Reichlin and Caroline Winkler for a terrific book filled with practical, sanity-saving wisdom. It's perfect for any parent or caregiver of young children!